| | Hillary: I'm sorry I said you used drugs.
Barack: I said I used drugs.
Hillary: Yeah, well, I'm sorry I said it.
Barack: I'm saying you don't have to say it.
Hillary: Well, I am.
Barack: Well, you don't have to.
Hillary: Fine. (turning to the American people) Barack Obama has admitted using performance enhancing drugs and his name came up in the Mitchell Report today, right after Miguel Tejada's.
Barack: Wait, what?!
Mike: You worship the devil.
Mitt: You're mean.
Mike: I'm sorry I said you worship the devil.
Mitt: I think it's okay to worship the devil or God or the recliner or a six pack of Coke. I am a Mormon, just like JFK.
Mike: JFK was Catholic...
Mitt: Oh yeah...
Mike...which means he worshiped the devil.
John: I have a poverty plan that'll really work for America.
Dennis: Shut ya yap. There's people all along the rust belt can't afford no haircut like the likes of you, you preppy-hair-cut-lovin'-hair-cuttin' MO-ron!
John: I need a good haircut.
Dennis: Just like the folks in Ohio need them some jobs! The only thing that pays in Cleveland these days is drag-races on the river where the Flats used to be! MO-ron!
John: My wife is recovering from cancer.
Dennis: Now the North Carolina Yuppie Monster wanna play the cancer card! Well, nobody's buyin', MO-ron! MO-ron!
Fred: I, uh...I was on TV. And, uh...I think TV is real. So, uh...this debate here...it's, uh...no debate. These, uh...these questions are rigged.
Moderator: (whispering) This debate is actually being televised, Mr. Thompson.
Fred: YOU'RE GONNA GET TELEVISED IN A MINUTE, MODERATOR, IF YOU DON'T STOP WITH THESE QUESTIONS! (cocks shotgun)
Moderator: (whispering) 'Televised' means it's on TV, sir.
Fred: YOU'RE ON TV!
Shotgun: KA-BLAM!
Moderator : (dies)
Fred: WHERE'S HUCKABEE?!! (cocks shotgun again)
Ron: My last name is a first name. Call me Ron. Call me Paul. Whatever. Ron or Paul. Either or. Paul or Ron, Ron or Paul. Mr. Paul or Mr. Ron. Ronpaul. Paulron. I like that one. Paulron. I'll just put a 'the' in front of it. The Paulron. The Paulron is coming! Beware! Ha. Well, whichever you like. Ron. Paul. Ronp. Aul. Paulr. On. Whichever. Whichever.
Chris: Um. Nobody's here.
Ron: Who are you?
Chris: Chris Dodds.
Ron: Who?
Chris: Chris Dodds. I'm running for president. I'm a Democrat.
Ron: I'm R Onpaul. or Ronpa Ul. Whichever you prefer. Whichever. Whichever.
Chris: Have you seen the other Democrats?
Ron: I'm the PAULRON! I BREATH SMOKE AND FIRE! Hee-hee. The Paulron.
Chris: Maybe the debate's tomorrow night. Are we in Iowa right now?
Newt: Nice name.
Barack: Same to you.
Hillary: Nice names.
Newt and Barack: Nice pantsuit.
Mike: I'm from Arkansas.
Hillary: Me too...I mean New York! New York! That's my homestate! That is where I hail from! Hail to the chief! Me! The chief from New York! Everybody hear that? New York!
Dr. Dobson: We need somebody who is pro-life in office.
Democrats: We tend to be against capital punishment.
Dr. Dobson: Hey, now. Not that kinda pro-life. I mean real pro-life.
Bill: My wife is running for President. You oughta vote for her.
Jennifer: You know what, maybe. Maybe.
Bill: Let's kiss.
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| | Posted 12/13/2007 6:56 PM - 59 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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